This state I'm in has me feeling unpredictable. As in I want to rent my house, preferably furnished so I don't have to pack everything :), take only a few essentials (ahhh....interesting question....what would I consider essential if I had a 15 x 15 room?), and do a houseshare in another part of town. Or, run away to a new town. Maybe Marfa Tx, kick the renters there out and move into my house, run the coffee shop, and try to figure the danged place out.
How much are my attachments to my stuff, my routines, the wonderful restaurants and markets close by, freezing me in place? What am I willing to let go of to make room for this new whatever it is? I feel an urge to flip the nicely set table of my life upside down to see where everything flies. Could that include dropping my job? Ooh, that sounds irresponsible and dumb actually. Although if I got my house off my back and had a modest rent to pay every month it would give me some latitude to experiment with my life.
Hmmm, my dreams the past two nights have included tornadoes blasting old stuff to bits and killing my dog (whanh!), and moving into a new house while holding friends at bay who want me to fill it with stuff, and last, discovering someone has broken into my house and stolen my stuff.
Well! My therapist could buy a new car working through that goldmine of psychodrama!
Does anyone else feel those urges to blow the old life to bits and see what happens?
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