Focus and Just DO THE FREAKIN' WORK!

So, my hair stylist, JM, whom I have mentioned before, famously (to me anyway) said the above to me during a color and cut. It has stuck with me as have many things he has said. I'm always obsessing about something, making it complicated in my usual fashion.

JM listens, then when I have finished, comes out with something profound, yet simple, leaving me momentarily speechless at the beauty of it.

He came out with the above while we were discussing a big mosaic he was creating. At the time, I was pondering the creative process, especially the part where it gets discouraging, or haaardd [whine], or boring, or someone doesn't think it's so great, or I get tired/hungry....any one of a million things that could be used as an excuse to ditch the effort. That's a part of the process I'm quite good at actually :)

I asked him if he didn't ever get discouraged, or bored or...whatever. "Well, duh!" he said, "of course!" Well what do you do about it, I asked. Said he, "I just say to myself, JM do the work, just do the freakin' work! And then I do it!" I laughed and laughed. Brilliant!

Part of what precipitated my little crisis here is that I am very good and LOOOVEE flitting about from idea to idea, activity to activity. I'm a regular little hummingbird buzzing about the garden of life, I am, sampling endless ideas, theories and activities. BUT, I don't really have much to show for my flitting. Not an expert at anything, no beautiful pictures on the wall, no awards for tennis or bowling, nothing. I generally don't stick with something long enough to build that skill. That isn't working for me anymore.

So, I wanted something where I just have to do the freakin' work and keep at it even if it's hard, or I suck at it, or I don't feel like it. One of that something (well, I can't give up EVERYthing) is playing the guitar. I took it up several months ago determined to stick with it and even learn, gulp, music theory. It's a perfectly learnable skill, it's something you can do forever and still be learning, and it's danged FUN!

Well....OK, it's isn't always fun. In fact, in the beginning, it's mostly fumbling fingers, blank looks at Rob, my instructor, avoiding practice more than I would like to admit, etc. But, I'm making it my practice, in the sense of a discipline, to just keep going. And, it is sinking in slowly in bits and pieces.

I actually managed to pick out a Pretenders song and I'm very pleased with myself. Couldn't have done that even a few months ago. Yea me!

I'm searching for the satisfaction of working and cussing and struggling with something to make something exist that didn't before. And paying attention to when I don't feel inspired but do it anyway....sometimes something brilliant happens.

All part of my little change experiment.....