Accept me as who?

A friend and I fell into conversation about what she feels are the mixed messages in magazines and other media. On the one hand, they encourage women of a 'certain age' to accept themselves, embrace who they really are, etc etc. That all sounds healthy and reasonable, wouldn't you say? I thought so. Yet, on the other, they are filled with ads for skin salves, plastic surgeons etc.

Generally,embracing one's self seems to mean things like cancelling future color and highlight appointments with Jean Paul. Leaving plastic surgery and botox behind (this one's not hard). Not succumbing to the blandishments of cosmetic companies trying to sell me expensive creams and salves to keep the wrinkles at bay and the skin as youthful looking as possible (not so easy).

Hmm, said I to myself as I listened, trying to be open minded.

So the inverse of that, not that mathematical concepts are my strong point :), is I should let my hair go gray allow nature to take her course with my skin, embrace breast sags and skin that is losing its texture and elasticity, and smile at hairs that miraculously sprout to unbelievable lengths overnight, appearing in places that haven't had hairs before! Never mind the bikini waxes.

In other words, letting Mother Nature take her course with the minimum of interference. Hmmmph, that puts a different spin on it!

Despite my dispassionate, oh so reasonable consideration of this issue, my first reaction was: I DON'T THINK SO!!!

After I calmed down a little, I began to wonder, what does accepting yourself as yourself mean....really?

It seems to me that implying accepting yourself means doing nothing to hold gray hair, wrinkles, dry skin and wild hairs at bay is dictating to someone who they are. I mean where does it all end? Isn't that a little stereotypical? Does that mean I shouldn't work out to maintain as much strength, flexibility, and muscle tone as possible? Next time my gall bladder acts up or I crack a tooth, I should just let Nature take her course?

I mean, if I've been inclined to have what Jean Paul calls "Effect Hair", dress some years younger than many women my age, and freely apply ceramides, anti-oxidizers, and killers of free radicals on my skin, wouldn't it be NOT being myself to let myself suddenly go gray, wrinkly, and hairy? What if being me means being my somewhat vain self? What if I've never been the au naturel, Earth Mother type?

Then in a burst of self examination, I realize that hair color and skin cream seem more benign to me than tummy tucks and eyebrow lifts. Obviously, that's where my particular line of prejudice begins. Which isn't to say in weak moments I haven't considered a little work on eyelids, teehee.

Well now, I don't have a good answer for this. But, it seems to me that embracing and accepting who I really am means just that. If I've always been the au naturel type, great, continue that line. If I've played with the color of my hair, bought every new Elizabeth Arden skin product they push on me, and winced mightily as the aesthetician ripped off my short hairs, wouldn't it be out of integrity to stop doing those things because that's what women of a certain age should do according to media?

Harrumph, I don't think I'm to the bottom of this. But I do think that mid life is being redefined in all sorts of ways and it seems to me that having the choice to be who I want to be is the crux of that.