Friday, July 20, 2007

The Youngsters and my generation

I have to get this off my chest. As I said yesterday, the twenty-somethings can be demoralizing if you think about them too much.

So, there were the twenty-somethings at Flipnotics the other evening. Talking about their investments for heavens' sake! Can they really be so together that they are already planning THAT far ahead? Maybe this is just a repeat of the dot-com phenomenon and the market is on everyone's mind at the moment because it's doing alright. Definitely, THAT is what I am choosing to think. Otherwise, I'm not sure I could take it in :)

Then, there is my friend's son who spent time in the Peace Corps before recently getting into the London School of Economics in an interdisciplinary program to do with law, economics and anthropology. He studied cultural anthropology in undergrad and hopes to combine his understanding of humans and culture to work for the World Bank or the State Department or even some multinational corporation.

I believe the middle-aged/old white men who have been in charge for the last decades are completely ignorant of the degree to which the inside of people's head--their values, attitudes, religious beliefs, etc--impacts the global geo-political landscape. They just think military action is the be-all, end-all fix-it for any global issues. Take a hammer and smash it seems to be the modus operandi most apparent these days.

Clearly we have gone way beyond the boundaries of effectiveness of that particular solution to the world's problems at least as I see it. So, this young man is going into what I believe will be a very timely, relevant field as the aforementioned demographic retire or die off.

Then another friend's daughter just got back from a year in London studying filmmaking. Very prestigious program. Another's daughter and son-in-law spent time in the Peace Corps, came back to Austin where he finished graduate school while she pursued, fairly successfully, her dream of being an actress. Now they are in New York where she continues to pursue the dream, succeeding in fits and starts.

Then the young man who lives in the basement apartment spent a year abroad in school. His Dutch girlfriend is coming to live here next month.

Obviously, they are so much more global citizens than we even thought of being. They are doing SUCH cool things. It seems so different from when I was that age. But, truth to tell, the possibilities are expansive even for us mid-life women. Think about it.....

Maybe it's a little late for me to get into a program at London School of Economics (I would SO have been all over that in my 20s!) but we also have an amazing time in history in front of us. We live longer, are healthier, have more financial resources in general than our parents did. Many of us women have been working most of our adult lives and have a lot of professional expertise and intelligence to put out there. Most women I know seem to experience a surge of renewed energy about mid 40s. The question What's Next comes up a lot!

We are forging new ground in so many ways. What are we going to do with it? We are a huge demographic with so many skills and so much experience. We do have some constraints many of us and yet, we are used to juggling a million things.

Hmmm, maybe I've talked myself out of the demoralizing story.....we aren't 20ish (thank goodness in many ways I say!) but we have our own landscape of possibilities that are pretty exciting!

Whew, I feel better now :)

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Getting the hang of the coffee shop thang.....

Yesterday, since my guitar lessons are up close to my old haunts (I NAILED Etta James' At Last in my lesson, just so you know :), I went up early to miss traffic, check out a new Farmer's Market, and, gulp, give the coffee shop thing another go.

I definitely have not completely shed my attachment to the old 'hood, but I built so much of my extracurricular activities around convenience to my neighborhood that I hate to completely let go of that since I'm only out of there for 9 months or a year. Although, who knows in that time, I may be off to Tibet or somewhere :) I anticipate that I will more and more be hanging in the new 'hood as I check it out, need to keep those fresh perspectives coming!

Anyway, there is a great little development a few blocks from my house called the Triangle, one of those new Urban oases with apartments, lofts, shops on the ground floor, greenspace etc. It was full of people yesterday, checking out yummy goat cheeses from some small goat dairy, beautiful vegetables, homemade breads, honey from Round Rock, and all sorts of other items to make a Foodie's heart sing! A band was setting up for later and the little restaurant and coffee shop were both full of folks socializing.

After purchasing some bison jerky (it was a very eclectic mix of products doncha know!), I went into the new Flipnotics up there (great little place if you haven't checked it out) with my book Crossing the Chasm and read for over an hour. A techie friend of mine suggested I read it for reference to this business idea I'm developing.

Well, that is a classic of sorts and so maybe it was just that I felt it was weighty enough not to worry about if I was doing something sufficiently important to merit taking up a seat at the local coffee shop :) I really began to get in the groove.... I began to feel I was one of the crowd! And it was fun to keep one eye on the groups around me.

I mean, twenty-somethings actually weighing the merits of this fund over that fund! I couldn't believe it. I've decided the younger generation is very demoralizing if I think about them too much. That's a topic for another blog entry but, honestly, they know so much more than I even realized there was to know at that age. Shake it off Allison.....ok....

I'm VERY excited because Dell let me know this morning that they have shipped my new laptop. NOW, that is where the rubber will hit the road so to speak! That has the potential to complete my transformation into a full-fledged member of the Coffee Shop Officing Crowd! It will be a completely new experience! I mean, I will be sipping lattes and cleaning out my email with the best of them very soon now.

If I really really want to step out, I will get some headphones so I can tune into my iTunes. I'm scaring myself with the level of coolness I could achieve...:)

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Coffee Klatch

I have actually made it more than a week without reading the newspaper more than once. It was a little scary at first but, surprise to me, it hasn't really been that big a deal (question to self: maybe changing most routines isn't that big a deal??) The sky has not fallen, the seas have not parted. And I'm feeling happy to have made the change, for now.

Something else a little different for me.....I went around the corner on Sunday morning to pay my last respects as Lady Bird went to Johnson City for the last time. I was one of thousands lining the streets of downtown Austin to say a last good bye to a neato woman.

That is one thing I love about Austin, people around here care about things and they are active about that caring. Whether it's turning out at City Council meetings in droves to protest something or organizing neighborhood parades or participating fully (how do people have the time? :) in the neighborhood listserv, people act on their convictions. It certainly can be hard to manage from a governing standpoint but it is part of the unique personality that is Austin.

Anyway, I"ve beaten the newspaper routine for the moment. My housemate has had lots of family and friends in the past week....that was after a week of painters. So, it's been a little challenging to focus although I've done pretty well considering.

In response to finding a way to add structure to working, I tried another something new. I went to a coffee shop to do some work on my website idea. Using a coffee shop for a workspace always seems so appealing in theory. People always look so cool there with their laptops sipping a latte. I always believe they are working on profound and important things.

I rarely go though, I think because I'm afraid I won't measure up to the weighty things they are all working on, good grief! Could I possibly reach cool-dom on a level with that? But today I thought, maybe I shouldn't succomb to performance anxiety about going to a danged coffee shop. I told myself, I'M working on profound and important things too!

Besides, if I were to saunter around sneaking peeks at their screens, they're probably cleaning out their email or playing solitaire. Come to think of it they are probably like those folks who wear Blue Tooths (Teeths??) in their ears at all times. I mean REALLY! If one isn't Secret Service one mostly look silly with those things. Who are we kidding? Is a regular Joe Schmoe so important that he or she can't lose a minute connection with the outside world.? Talk about being a slave to something.

Anyway, I did go, I did work, I only felt a twinge of performance anxiety once or twice and it did help me focus. Am I cool or what?

Sunday, July 8, 2007

The Secret of 'The Secret'

"Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve." ~~ Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

There has been so much hype around the Secret. As I mentioned, I do believe in the fundamentals of the law of attraction (which is what the Secret repackages in a slick marketing production).

Brilliant piece of marketing, that 'The Secret'. A new spin on an old idea that has been around for a while and developed by a number of people. But it's so appealing isn't it? Just wish hard enough and someone will walk through your door with a check for a million dollars, or a new sports car, or beautiful new house, whatever blows your skirt up. I'll have 3 million please!

I'm paying attention to how this is working in my life at the moment because, well, who wouldn't want to create a bunch of money in their life just by thinking and wishing hard about it?

I think in practice it's a little more subtle than that.

When I was first conceiving this notion of simplifying life by downsizing possessions and routines and I was in the grip of wanting to make a documentary, I was VERY focused on it. I journalled about it, talked to friends about it, blogged about it....truly it was the number one thing on my mind, I was absorbed.

AND, here's the Secret part, people were showing up right and left to help make it happen. People to rent the house, people who knew documentary makers and were willing to introduce me to them, people willing to let me move in with them. It was a little scary how the solutions to things were showing up in quick succession.

Then, once that was in place and I became focused on moving and all the cleaning and packing that entailed, those solutions and resources were not as present. Although, come to think of it, I think boxes and stuff to clean out and pack was miraculously reproducing.....and it did seem as though the more I focused on it, the more boxes and cleaning out to do there was :) Very funny, Universe, not exACTLY what I had in mind.

Now that phase is complete I am anxious once more to get very focused on my plan to see if that kind of energy begins to gin up once more.

My theory is the Secret is really a rough equivalent to 'focus'. When you are absorbed by an activity or idea, you can't help but manifest more of it. You are throwing lots of energy at it, your energy is not going other places. If we all focused on making a million, and we did the things/made the decisions/gave up other things someone who wanted to make a million would, we might eventually end up with a million.

There is a book called Think and Grow Rich that was published decades ago, sometime close to the Great Depression I believe. Napoleon Hill, the author, believed that constant auto-suggestion (per Wikipedia, which is a marvel, doncha think?) was a critical piece in 'brainwashing' one's self into believing something would manifest. That, combined with persistence and a refusal to be slowed down by obstacles, would make 'It' happen.

Essentially, you acted as though 'It' already were true. I've had this work a few times in my life, the latest with undertaking this life experiment I'm on. I don't think it's all about money either. I think it's about anything you want to manifest in your life.

So, stay tuned for reports from the frontline on this.....

Metaphorically speaking......

I am thinking in metaphors this morning.......

As I mentioned, I'm realizing that paring down all the physical stuff in my life is a process not an event, rats! I also mentioned that changing up one's environment is only the beginning of the heavy lifting of shifting some old patterns and habits, challenging!

So, it would be nice to think that I could, hey presto!, get rid of those old patterns and habits in one fell swoop. Nice to think, but not realistic, major bummer! I'm thinking of my physical stuff as representing all those habits and routines. I've made the initial clean sweep of it but much more remains to be done. It's a perfect metaphor for the changes I'm making.

What brought these thoughts on is I can feel myself trying to incorporate some of my old routines in the new place.

In the words of Amy Winehouse, No, No, No!

This is going to take vigilance on my part. Just the simple morning routine of getting a cup of tea and reading the newspaper is one I've followed for years, taking great pleasure in the slow start. Very few things get in the way of that and this morning, there is no newspaper on the lawn. My grumpy reaction to that made me realize the hold that has on me. I'm going to stop it, gulp, and see what comes of it. Well, maybe all but Sunday morning so I can read the New York Times :)

Seriously, I am going to experiment with getting up, getting my cup of tea and doing my journalling first thing. The value for me of journalling is only now becoming apparent to me and as far as starting the day with the most valuable thing possible....I think that could be it. Check out next blog entry for a little explanation.

Food. That's the other thing. At my old house, I lived a few blocks from a wonderful gourmet market that sold lots of prepared food. So, most nights around 7:30 I would think what I wanted, go there and get it. Not exactly good for my wallet and probably not so good for me, again a habit. I'm a bit of a fish out of water without that here. Nothing quite so close and the Whole Foods closest to me is even more expensive than the CM.

I've been wanting to change some eating habits so I think the time is now to do it. Keep away from turkey sandwiches (my favorite fall back) and develop some new fall backs.

These may seem like small things but now that I am in a new place and I can more clearly see the pattern, I am realizing the incredibly strong hold they have over me. I suspect that as insignificant as they are, if I can't change those, some of the other changes I am making will be difficult to say the least.

I have a theory that creating change in one's self is like working out at the gym. If your muscles are flabby and out of shape, it's going to be danged hard to benchpress 200 lbs. one random day. If you work out regularly (like changing seemingly insignificant routines occasionally), it will be easier when it really counts.

We'll see.....

Thursday, July 5, 2007

A process, not an event, DRAT!

I'm in!! Phase I complete! I accomplished the move in fairly organized fashion, no major logistical snafus to contend with.

The house I'm sharing I had not seen until the night before my move. The owner and my new housemate is a friend of my sister's however so I had a good description to go on. When I walked in for the first time, I took a deep breath and felt my spirit relax and my possibilities expand with the tall ceilings, spare clean furnishings, multitude of windows, broad expanse of floor and wonderful outdoor living spaces with big views. The universe seems to have provided exactly what my soul is craving.

There is a fly in the ointment however, a POX on it! I still have more stuff than I had hoped, grrrr, PHHHHFFFT!!! I think I've imported more clutter than I wanted into my new space. Granted, comparatively, it is light years away from where I was, I will acknowledge and pat myself on the back for that. And yet, alas, it's more than I had hoped for.

I had mentioned that I was finding that it's harder to reduce to as few things as I wanted than I anticipated. I threw so much away, made many runs to Half Price Books and various thrift stores, became an expert Craig's list purveyor of my gently used things.....still so much stuff. It is disturbing how many belongings I had, still have. The accumulation of so many years' worth of things, most of which I just had because it was a hassle to rid myself of them.

And, you know, you buy antiques thinking they are worth something, will always be at least worth what you paid. Nothing could be further from the truth. Things go in and out of style I find. My charming country French furniture salon set is 'out' at the moment so I could only get a fraction of what I paid even though it's 125 years old, charming and in great shape.

So, spending the effort and money on those things, looking back, seems wasted in a lot of ways.

The truth is, there are very few of my things that I really love anymore. The antiques.....lovely, but most of them I wouldn't miss, they had become part of the wallpaper. As I feel right now, if I moved back into my house today, I would not take most of my furniture. The biggest reason to keep it is the fact that it is expensive to buy furniture. But, to have an emptier house would not bother me one bit.

So, I'm realizing, this makeover is looking more like a process than an event. I have months before I have to make any other decisions about it but it has been a hugely eye-opening experience so far. What I have learned about myself and my life trappings could fill several chapters of a book.

EXACTLY what I was hoping for though! A change that provoked reflections on what is really important to me. What will be a source of vitality and energy for me going forward and what will suck it dry with little payoff......I'm well on my way to gaining insight about that!